Top Secret

Josh WannerDevotions

Blessed is the one
    whose transgressions are forgiven,
    whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the one
    whose sin the Lord does not count against them
    and in whose spirit is no deceit.

When I kept silent,
    my bones wasted away
    through my groaning all day long.
For day and night
    your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
    as in the heat of summer.
Psalm 32:1-4

Someone asked me recently “what is the most nervous you have ever been?”  This, I thought, was a good question. I was nervous when I got dressed for my wedding.  I was nervous when I gave a speech to 300 of my peers as I ran for Missouri State 4-H Council president.  I was nervous when I drove each of my children home from the hospital.  I was nervous when I had to give my first sermon to my classmates and, more frighteningly, my professor – and do it without any notes!  But ALL of these examples pale in comparison to the most nervous I have ever been.

No, I feel the most nervous when there is something I have done that I regret, and yet no one else knows about. I feel the most nervous when I have a “top secret” sin.  I can vividly remember one time lying in a fetal position in the hall of a school building, feeling sicker than I had ever felt, yet medically, nothing was wrong.  But spiritually – I was in anguish!  I had a top-secret sin – one that NO ONE knew about yet.  Please do not ask me what I was so distraught over, because I am not here to tell you all of my deepest, darkest secrets.  You know your own faults and failings.  You know the type of nervousness I am talking about – the type brought about by unconfessed top-secret sins. 

David describes this guilt-nervous feeling well in Psalm 32.  He writes that when he kept silent (when he had not yet confessed his sin) his bones wasted away.  He says that he groaned all day long.  He says that he felt the pressure of God upon him, and that he had no strength, just like on the hottest day of summer. 

Thankfully, David does not end in this uncomfortable position.  He resolves to bring the secret into light before God.  He decides to confess his sins to the Lord, and reminds himself, and us, of the amazing promise that God forgives each and every sin when we confess. 

 Feeling burdened or guilty today?  If not – maybe you could take a look at the ten commandments again today. If so – then confess.  Be like David and do keep your secret sins secret.  Bring them into the light of God’s mercy.  Confess to God directly.  Call your pastor. Call me.  When we confess, God forgives.  That is no secret! 

I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord, and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.  Today Lord, I confess that I have [YOU FILL IN THIS BLANK]… For the sake of Jesus, forgive me.  Amen.

Written by: Pastor Koenig