Every two years the Springfield chapter of Lutherans for Life hosts an event that helps equip families with students in 7th grade and up to have conversations on sex, consent, and Christian dating within their household.
Big topics – I know. I think many families find these topics to be overwhelming to discuss. Figuring out age appropriate ways to discuss what the Bible has to say about sex and relationships, especially in a world where kids are hearing about these topics earlier and earlier, may seem daunting. But the truth is if families aren’t having productive and Biblically based conversations about these topics within their homes, students will learn about it from other sources. Unfortunately, these sources aren’t always as trustworthy.
The Healthy Relationships Dinner is designed as an opportunity for parents to learn about how to have these conversations within their homes, while students hear about what Christian dating looks like.
Don’t worry — we won’t be talking to your kids about sex without you. The part of the night for students really focuses more on what it means to date as a Christian and how we can live in our baptismal identity as God’s children in all of our relationships.
Here’s an idea of some of the things we’ll be discussing and some of the Bible passages we’ll use as our guide:
-How does being a Christian impact your identity?
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” – Gen 1:26
And to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. – Eph 4:24
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. – Col 3:1
-How does this impact the way you view friends around you?
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. – Philip. 2:4
But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. – 1 John 3:17-18
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. – Gal 6:9-10
-How does your Christian identity impact how you speak to and about others?
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. – Eph 4:29
Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. – Eph 5:4
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. – Prov 15:28
-Do Christians have to date or get married?
Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.
1 Cor 7:25-38
-How does being a Christian impact the way you date?
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? – 2 Cor 6:14
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. – Rom 12:9
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. – Prov 13:20
-How do you think Christian dating is different from the way other people date?
In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. – Eph 5:28
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases. -Song. 8:4
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. – Prov 27:17
-When I’m ready to date, what are some attributes I should look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. – 1 John 4:8
But you, as a person dedicated to God, keep away from all that. Instead pursue righteousness, godliness, faithfulness, love, endurance, and gentleness. – 1 Tim 6:11
Although a righteous person may fall seven times, he gets up again, but the wicked will be brought down by calamity – Prov 24:16
-What does a Christian breakup look like?
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. Matt 18:15
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger – Eph 4:26
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. – Prov 15:18
You can find all the date and time info in the attached below as well as information on how to RSVP! We do require this event for all 7th-12th grade confirmation families, but ask that all of our youth families consider coming and learning more.
Please consider if this is the right opportunity for you and let me know if you have any questions! I hope to see you there!